My Week on the GM Diet

Last week I spotted something about the GM Diet on Pinterest. It looked easy and seeing as I have 30lb to lose and I'm not working, (so can attempt such crazy starvation schemes with the option of passing out from hunger with minimal disruption to my day,) I thought I’d give it a whirl. The diet spiel states that you will be 10lb-17lb lighter by the end of the week… this is not precise and probably only applies to those who are grossly obese… I am merely ‘obese’ (although, quite gross) so I lost a little less… but I’m still very happy with the results.

Here’s the diet info that I copied from the internet… you can find it anywhere by searching ‘GM Diet’ and print it off if you want to...

The GM Diet - 7 Day Cleanse

This plan can be used as often as you like without any fear of complications. It is designed to flush your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well being. After seven days you will begin to feel lighter because you will be lighter by at least 10 lbs. You will have an abundance of energy and an improved disposition.

During the first seven days you must abstain from all alcohol
You must drink 10 glasses of water each day

Day One All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a loupe. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.

Day Two All vegetables. You are encouraged to eat until you are stuffed with all the raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. There is no limit on the amount or type. For your complex carbohydrate, you will start day two with a large baked potato for breakfast. You may top the potato with one pat of butter.

Day Three  A mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today.

Day Four  Bananas and milk. Today you will eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. This will be combined with the special soup which may be eaten in limited quantities.

Day Five Today is feast day. You will eat beef and tomatoes. Eat two 10 oz. portions of lean beef. Hamburger is OK. Combine this with six whole tomatoes. On day five you must increase your water intake by one quart. This is to cleanse your system of the uric acid you will be producing.

Day Six  Beef and vegetables. Today you may eat an unlimited amount of beef and vegetables. Eat to your hearts content.

Day Seven  Today your food intake will consist of brown rice, fruit juices and all the vegetables you care to consume.

Tomorrow morning you will be 10-17 lbs. lighter than one week ago. If you desire further weight loss, repeat the program again. You may repeat this program as often as you like, however, it is suggested that you are allowed two glasses of white wine in addition to the instructions on the program. You may substitute champagne for white wine. Under no circumstances are you to drink any other alcoholic beverages with the exception of beer which is allowed. Any liquor (bourbon,vodka, rum) is forbidden. Cream drinks are especially forbidden. You may have an occasional cordial such as creme de menthe or schnapps, but you must always limit yourself to two drinks. If you wine, drink only wine that day. If you have beer, drink only beer that day, etc. Alcohol adds empty calories to your diet. However, after the first week it will help your digestion and settle your stomach.

G.M.’S Wonder Soup

The following soup is intended as a supplement to your diet. It can be eaten any time of the day in virtually unlimited quantities. You are encouraged to consume large quantities of this soup.

28 oz, Water, 6 Large Onions, 2 Green Peppers, Whole Tomatoes (fresh or canned), 1 Head Cabbage, 1 Bunch Celery, 4 Envelopes Lipton Onion Soup Mix, Herbs and Flavouring as desired.

Additional Comments

Vegetables as may be taken in the form of a salad if desired. No dressing except malt, white or wine vinegar, squeezed lemon, garlic, herbs. No more than one tea spoon of oil.

You have been given a recipe for the WONDER SOUP which can be eaten in unlimited quantities. This soup is a supplement while you are on the program and it should be a pleasure to eat. Not everyone likes cabbage, green peppers, calory etc. This recipe is not inflexible. You may substitute vegetables according to your taste. You may add any vegetables you like: asparagus, peas, corn, turnips, green beans, cauliflower, etc. Try to stay away from beans (lima, pinto, kidney, etc.), however, because they tend to be high in calories even though they are very good for you.

Beverages you may consume while on the program :

   1. Water (flavoured with lemon/lime if desired).
   2. Club Soda is OK.
   3. Black Coffee. No cream or cream substitute. No sugar or sweetness.
   4. Black Tea = Herb or Leaf.
   5. Absolutely nothing else except the fruit juices which are part of day seven. No fruit juices before day seven.

How and Why It Works

Day One you are preparing your system for the upcoming programme. Your only source of nutrition is fresh or canned fruits. Fruits are nature’s perfect food. They provide everything you could possibly want to sustain life except total balance and variety.

Day Two starts with a fix of complex carbo-hydrates coupled with an oil dose. This is taken in the morning for energy and balance. The rest of day two consists of vegetables which are virtually calorie free and provide essential nutrients and fibre.

Day Three eliminates the potato because you get your carbohydrates from the fruits. You system is now prepared to start burning excess pounds. You will still have cravings which should start to diminish by day four.

Day Four, bananas, milk and soup sound the strangest and least desirable. You’re in for a surprise. You probably will not eat all the bananas allowed. But they are there for the potassium you have lost and the sodium you may have missed the past three days. You will notice a definite loss of desire for sweets. You will be surprised how easy this day will go.

Day Five, Beef and tomatoes. The beef is for iron and proteins, the tomatoes are for digestion and fibre. Lots and lots of water purifies your system. You should notice colourless urine today. Your allowance calls for the equivalent of five “quarter ponders”. Do not feel you have to eat all this beef. You must eat the six tomatoes.

Day Six is similar to day five, Iron and proteins from beef, Vitamins and fibre from vegetables. By now your system is in a total weight loss inclination. There should be a noticeable difference in the way you look today, compared to day one.

Day Seven finished off the program like a good cigar used to finish off Victorian meals, except much healthier. You have your system under control and it should thank you for the flushing and cleaning you just gave it.

And that's it. Some of it I felt was a little ambiguous and open to interpretation, but to the best of my ability I followed it to the letter and didn't so much as lick the chocolate fondant icing from my finger after slicing up a delicious chocolate cake for the boys... (ok I DID lick my finger... but that was the ONLY deviation from the plan all week... promise!) Below is the daily diary I kept to track my progress and keep a note of how I felt each day:

My ‘GM 7 Day diet’ diary

Day 1 – Fruit day

Not too bad to stick to, I just kept busy all day in the garden to take my mind off food. By 2pm though, I was ravenous and bored of fruit so I knocked up the wonder soup. Think I made too much. Hope it lasts 2 or 3 days. Was ok… not as great as they made out though. I've had bad headache all evening and brain not working too well. I can’t seem to type properly… keep pressing wrong keys and forgetting how to spell simple words. It’s just gone 10 and I need to go to bed. Not sure what to do about headache. I have been drinking loads of water. Not looking forward to tomorrow… just veg all day. Yuck. Looking forward to jacket potato with butter for breakfast tho… that’s how bad it is!

Day 2 – Vegetable day

I woke up with all my muscles aching today, as if I’d done a major workout. It may have been partly due to gardening yesterday and also the lack of food. I really enjoyed my jacket potato for breakfast. It said use a pat of butter so I used a little garlic butter and lightly fried some chestnut mushrooms and spinach to top my potato with. It was surprisingly delicious. That kept me going for the morning, but as the day wore on I found it a real struggle and was craving all kinds of food. I got really tired about 2pm, couldn’t stay awake, so went for a lovely little nap. Survived mostly on loads of water, and bowls of veggie soup today, spiced up a little with a stock cube… mmm luxury! Kept fairly active today doing housework… but probably not enough. Just before bed I had some sliced tomato and cucumber with fresh basil leaves and ground salt and pepper… very tasty!

Day 3 – Fruit and Veg day

Weighed this morning… 5lb lighter in just two days whoohooo!!

Was a luxury to have fruit again after yesterday. I started with a big mug of lemon water and a bowl of chopped melon, nectarine, strawberries and raspberries. Lovely! Had an apple for elevenses and a huge bowl of veggie soup, this time with some chicken stock, for lunch… yummy! I went for a nice walk with Meg this evening for a bit of exercise. Today wasn’t too difficult.

Day 4 – Bananas and milk day

Found today amazingly easy. Had 2 big bananas blended with half a pint of milk for breakfast and was delish and satisfying. Haven’t felt hungry or craved anything today and just stuck to my milk and bananas no problem. Even managed to resist (with ease) fish and chips with the girls. I ate my bananas while they ate their chips and it wasn’t difficult. Feel awake and full of energy… not hungry at all. Oh and had lost 6.4lb in total this morning! That works out at over 2lb a day so far… brilliant!

Day 5 – Beef and tomatoes day

Was 7lb lighter this morning after just 4 days. I should have prepared yesterday for today. I decided to put beef and tomatoes in slow cooker with a little stock and seasoning. This meant I had to wait till the afternoon before I could eat. Wasn’t too bad though, my appetite seems to have diminished and I’m not craving food or sweet stuff at all. The beef and tomatoes was tasty and I just had bowls of it when I felt like it, until it was gone. I went on a nice walk with Aaron and Meg this evening for a little exercise. 

Day 6 – Beef and vegetables day

I am a 1lb heavier than I was yesterday morning. :-/ Not too worried as I know you’re not meant to weigh every day and I’m still hopeful that two or three more will come off over the last two days as I haven’t deviated at all from the plan and it says today I go into 'maximum weight loss mode'. So we’ll see! I didn’t learn from yesterday and had to wait till the afternoon to eat again. I guess I could have munched on some veggies while waiting for slow cooker, but really didn’t fancy it or feel the need. Just kept going with lemon water and herbal teas. By the end of day six I think I may never want to eat any kind of beef hotpot ever again. Ugh.

Day 7 – Brown rice, veg and fruit juice day (LAST DAY… YAY!!!!)

This is HELL!! Can’t wait for tomorrow. I weighed this morning and it’s still showing a 6lb weight loss. Disappointing as it was showing 7lb two days ago and today is the last day. Mind you… with today’s menu I may well lose another 7lb before tomorrow. Have cooked my brown rice and it tastes like pap! I had a bowl of veggie soup which tasted like poop… but the fruit juice is a bonus! I just cannot bring myself to eat the rice and veg… this is torture!! As a result I have eaten very little today, so still hopeful about tomorrows final weigh in. But sheesh… these last 2 days have made it feel like a long week, and I doubt I will ever try this detox/7 day diet again. I’m so looking forward to some salmon or mackerel and a bowl of muesli. Roll on tomorrow!!

One week on… my final weight loss after a week on the GM Diet was… 8lb! The spiel said I would look a lot different by the end of the week… but I don’t. I feel better, I can move a little easier and my tummy has gone down a lot, but I look pretty much the same. Still, it’s not bad for a kick start to a proper diet. I’m going to carry on now, not following any specific diet plan, but I will bear in mind things I know from having done Slimming World and Weight Watchers and just eat healthily and sensibly and try and get more exercise (I’m thinking more walkies with meg and maybe a skipping rope challenge.) I would like to carry on losing a steady couple of pounds a week until I reach my goal of 30lb weight loss. I make that another 11 weeks, which will take me to about the middle of October… that’ll do nicely! :-)

Maybe I will put a little update here in a weeks time, to let you know if I have put back on any (or all) of those 8lb… or (fingers crossed) I have lost some more... and how I get on with my 30lb weight loss goal over the next 11 weeks. :-)

Oh and if you've managed to get to the end of this rather boring blog (I really should have taken a photo of my vegetable soup to make things more interesting) here's a little reward for you by way of a relevant video... with some very good tips towards the end on how to lose 14 stone in a day!! (Please do not watch if easily offended by coarse comedians or bad language)

Freedom… ?

I had every intention this morning, on my first day of ‘real freedom’ after finishing work yesterday and officially starting out on my new ‘healthy mind, body and spirit’ lifestyle, to write a blog based on how I intend to lose 30 lbs, and all the healthy choices I’m going to make. But alas, I was stopped in my tracks when I opened my front door (to set off to the shop for some organic oats… will have to save that for another blog) and was greeted by a strange rainbow-like glow in the sky. I knew instantly what it was and have seen them before, but I was startled by the brightness of this one and the fact that it was staring me in the face outside my front door. It was in fact a ‘chembow’ 

(http://chemtrails.cc/2009/01/25/what-are-chembows/) 

The chembow, beneath the two merging chemtrails

neatly situated beneath two enormous chemtrails, running almost parallel and then merging together to continue across the otherwise perfect blue sky. The chembow was beneath the place where the two trails merged, in the wispy filaments that were rapidly spreading out from the ever widening trails. 

Now, some who know me well will have already stopped reading by this point, or else be rolling their eyes and thinking ‘here she goes again’… but seriously, ask yourselves, what is happening to our beautiful blue skies? I don’t remember this happening when I was a kid… or even when my teenagers were little… so why is it happening now?? What is going on in our skies and why aren’t we all fully aware?

The two huge chemtrails before they merged

 I grabbed my camera and took a few pictures of the chemtrails and this chembow… as well as another one that appeared about 10 minutes later in another part of the sky. During the 10 minutes between taking these pictures the two original massive chemtrails had been joined by a third and were fanning out and spreading significantly, so that the first really pure bright blue sky we have had in a while was now virtually smothered in obtrusive, unnatural, white stripes that had been sprayed out of planes. Wonderful! Here are some pics…

The first chembow...

close up, in the spreading smog.

And then there were three...

A second chembow appeared.

Close up of the second one...

just before it dispersed and vanished.

Ok… as I was uploading those photos (about 3 hours after I took them) I decided to quickly take some comparison photos of how the sky is now. Please note that these photos were taken on the same camera, on the same setting, on the same day (21st July '12) and other than being reduced in size, none of these photos have been edited in any way at all… the second lot of photos are NOT in black and white… this is approx 3 hours later… every scrap of colour has been obliterated from the sky, despite the sun doing its utmost to continue to shine through the smog. :-(

           

           

           

           

This upsets and angers me. Us Brits are great at moaning about the weather, and we've had reason to moan of late... but this is far more than moaning about the weather. This is not natural, it is man made and it is not being made clear why this is happening. I choose not to inhale poisonous chemicals by not smoking, I plan to eat more organic, natural foods to avoid harmful pesticides and unnatural GMOs, I’ve chosen to no longer plaster my scalp in toxic chemicals every month… but I can not choose what air I breathe. I admit I drive a diesel car which I have recently learned gives off carcinogenic fumes… I plan to use it less and in the future hopefully get a healthier car. But I am aware of this and can make a conscious choice about it. I have no choice about what is being sprayed across our skies in great quantities these days… and it has dawned on me… no matter how hard a person tries… even if you drop right off the grid and try to be self-sufficient and live by your own means, all the while they (whoever 'they' are) are spraying poisonous chemicals across our planet (whether we like it or not) we can never have ‘real freedom’. :-(

If you have no idea what I am talking about and your eyes haven’t rolled so far back into your head that you’ve been stricken with blindness… please feel ‘free’ to watch these short videos (or any of the gazillions like them on youtube) to learn more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFpS1yVioLM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeaUavrlcMs

Dad... if only he hadn't stopped that whole breathing thing...

When I logged into facebook this morning the first thing I saw were all the lovely Father’s Day statuses. One of them asked what good memories did people have of their dads. I started to reply but soon realised I had far too much to say, so… I‘ve blogged! :-)

The memory of dad and myself that instantly sprang to mind was a time, when I was a child, where he and I stood together, hand in hand, on a clifftop at Portland Bill in Dorset, England. We were looking out to sea and marvelling at the power of the magnificent waves as they crashed onto the ancient, seaworn rocks before us, exploding like giant fireworks of frothy spray, filling the air, and our lungs, with their incredibly refreshing salty ozone.

Dad was an expert in conscious deep breathing (at least, up until recently, God rest his soul!) Anytime there was a (not always pleasant) ‘country’ smell in the air, such as just after a summer rainfall, or when we were driving past Farmer Giles’s on muck spreading day(!!), or as with this particular time on the clifftop, he would say, “Mmmm, breathe in that lovely country/sea air, it’s good for you!” and he would get us to breathe in long and deep through our noses, hold it for a few seconds, then slowly out through our mouths.

Now, “I told you so!” is one thing, as children, teenagers and adults, that we do not wish to hear from our parents… it’s funny though, when they’re gone, something, in my experience, you so often find yourself wishing you could say to them, if only they were here, is “Ah yes, you told me so!”  It’s  probably no coincidence that the memory of dad and myself breathing in the sea ozone was the first one that popped into my mind this morning, as I have recently been reading a good deal about the benefits of conscious breathing and appreciating the moment. And in doing so it has occurred to me often that my dad had taught me those very skills all through my childhood… but somewhere in the midst of the mayhem of maturing I had lost the art… well dad… that deep, conscious breathing malarkey… it’s really good for you… and yes, I know, you told me so!

It certainly is true, those times spent consciously breathing and absorbing the very moment you’re in are the ones that remain indelibly marked on your memory, and my moments spent consciously deep breathing with dad (along with some very tight, sincere goodbye hugs he gave me in later years (I can still feel his arms squeezing me tightly sometimes)) are some of the most vivid and enduring memories I have of him.

Today is Father’s Day and tomorrow, June 18^th 2012, would have been his 71^st Birthday, but sadly he passed away a little under 2 years ago. I miss him a lot, but I’m sure he’s blissful now with mum by his side, deeply breathing in all that heavenly ozone together… and from now until the day I join them both, it is a mission of mine to consciously breathe deeply with, and hug tightly, the people who mean the most to me in this world, so that when I am gone, as with my dad and me, it will be like I’m still here with them.

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

And enjoy your Birthday tomorrow!

(Sorry but you’re not getting two blogs!)

Love you loads and please

give Mum a great big kiss from me

..xxxx

Who'd have thought a rainy day in a cemetery could be so uplifting?

My Grandmother (Hilda) was born in 1926, one of nine daughters born to James and Minnie Kisler. They had no sons.... but not for want of trying! :-)

Left to Right, Back Row: Betty, Peggy, Hilda, Violet, Mabel, Lily, Margaret, Ivy 
Front Row: Annette, James and Minnie Kisler

One by one, all the daughters left to get married and have families; Hilda was the only one who remained living with her parents until they died. When she was 18, during WWII, she had met a Canadian soldier who was based in the UK… to cut a long story very short… in 1945 my mother was born. Hilda never married, as the soldier (presumably with his musket fife and drum) hurried back to his ‘here’s one I made earlier’ wife and family in Canada, and Hilda was left to lead the then shameful life of an unmarried mother in the 1940’s. She was completely devoted to my beautiful mother, Sandy, and did a wonderful job of bringing her up. And when she (Sandy) became wheelchair bound in her mid twenties with Chronic Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, Hilda was there to help Mum bring up her three young daughters, (myself and my two elder sisters) …like a second mum to us.

Mum, Dad and Nan - 1987

Sadly, in January this year, two weeks before her 67^th birthday, Mum passed away, and Hilda, at 85, had lost her one true reason for living. It was a worrying time; Hilda could easily have fallen into despair and given up as she was totally devastated by Mum’s death… but thankfully, and quite amazingly, she has found an incredible strength and seems healthier and more active than she’s been in a good few years. So much so that when I recently suggested to her we did the 170 mile round trip to visit her parents’ grave, she literally jumped (for joy) at the chance. She confessed to me that when my dad died in July 2010 she had resigned herself to the fact that she would most likely never get to visit her parents' resting place again. That made me sad. :'-(

Well, we made the trip two days ago. It was a bleak rainy day and we both got soaked to the skin… but it didn’t deter us or make us feel any less happy, as we scrubbed the blackened grave stone till it was shiny white and standing out like a beacon of love. Nan said it’s the best day out she’s ever had, (she’s a little prone to exaggerate) and that made me very happy! :'-)

Hilda and Me... 7th June 2012 - soggy but happy!

Below are some more photos from our day… it does look rather like I stood there taking photos of the poor old lady while she scrubbed away in the pouring rain… but I did do my fair share of scrubbing too… honest! ;-)

Before...

...and after!

Hilda didn’t recognise the grave at first, it was so dirty.

She didn't waste a minute getting out her scrubbing brush!

Nan having a little rest... lost in thought...

Round two... getting there!

A Beacon of Love

Nan’s parting words… “Shows somebody cares”

I thoroughly enjoyed my rainy day in the cemetery with Nan… it's a memory I will always cherish. I have promised her I will take her back up for her birthday in August... we're both looking forward to it! :-)

Thoughts on Mindfulness... or lack thereof

Many times, throughout adulthood, sometimes verbally and oftentimes inwardly to self, I have complained about my ever increasing lack of clarity, and how I miss my crystal clear mind of childhood. For me, as a child, everything was so vivid and clear. My eyesight (until about the age of ten (more of that later!)) was sharp and focused, and life was like a never ending kaleidoscope of vibrant colours, mesmerising patterns and memorable events. Christmas decorations and other such pretties seemed infinitely more beautiful back then, as did the emotions associated with them. I was super sensitive to smells too. I would often embarrass my mother by openly remarking on the ‘funny smell’ of someone’s house, or worse… them! Also, I had, as it was affectionately referred to back then, a terrific ‘bremembory’ (remember/memory with an extra b thrown in for good measure.) I could recall the minutest details of times gone by... which is sadly no longer the case as I struggle to remember what I did five minutes ago!

I also remember from early childhood, a regular occurrence that usually happened when I was very sleepy and, most likely, dropping off for a toddler nap on our sofa. I would focus my attention on one object, usually the fireplace or something on the hearth as it was situated directly opposite the sofa. I would stare at whichever object my gaze had settled on so intently that it would seem to grow and grow and fill the whole room, until it was all there was, and then I would fall asleep. I think now, looking back, that I was unconsciously doing some kind of meditation, shutting everything else out by focusing entirely on one single inanimate thing, and resting my tired baby brain. I have since tried the same technique, but to little avail as, once again, my natural abilities and perceptions of childhood have been smothered by the ever pressing forces of adultdom.

I’ve been thinking about such things quite a lot of late, and have begun to wonder if maybe we subconsciously choose to partly shut down or dull certain aspects of ourselves, our senses, our emotions, as a mechanism for coping with certain aspects of life that make us uncomfortable. For instance, in my case, I was terrified of spiders from a very young age, and we used to have one of those busy, patterned, 1970s carpets which, every now and then, you would catch a glimpse of something black and fast hurtling across. I trained myself not to focus on that carpet. I was very good at it; blurring my vision, and in the process I also became very adept at crossing my eyes and moving them independently of one another. A very impressive party trick for a six year old! By the time I was ten I had astigmatism and a very natty little pair of NHS specs, and I have been very short-sighted and spectacle clad ever since.

That is just one example of how, in my own life, I feel I may have subconsciously dulled down a part of myself in order to shut out or cope with something that gave me displeasure. As I grew older and nasties like exams, broken hearts, driving tests and job interviews loomed on the horizon, I learned to deny my emotions and feelings of dread in order to get through. Then there’re the inevitable mistakes, even regrets (some like to say they have none, but I have numerous things I would have done differently with hindsight) or just plain bad experiences… and this is where the practice of choosing to unfocus the memory or selectively forget comes in… and thus the memory becomes less sharp over time. I must have had some truly terrible times, judging by the appalling state of my memory these days… but… I just can’t bremember!

I can’t help but wonder if all these things, along with other pressures and mounting concerns that accompany our increasing years, and our efforts to manage them, results in a self-accumulating fog in our brains, dulling our senses and causing us to lose awareness, living each day in a perpetual daze, on auto pilot, just surviving and getting by… worrying about the future, fretting about the past… everything but fully appreciating the uniqueness of each moment we’re in, as it's happening.

My desire to become more aware and recapture some of the clarity of my youth has recently led me to read numerous books on the subject of mindfulness and living in the moment. The book I am currently reading, ‘Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh’ teaches the simple technique of ‘conscious breathing’ alongside various other methods for getting back in touch with the present and realigning your mental and physical selves so that you are completely aware and focused on the moment of now. I intend to practice these methods of mindfulness, in particular the conscious breathing, (as I know this will also help to alleviate my high blood pressure) until I notice a considerable improvement in my everyday clarity of mind. I imagine it will take time and a lot of conscious effort… probably equal to the time and subconscious effort it took for my brain to fog up to the point it’s at now… which, by my calculations, means by the time I’m 88 (if I make it) I will have the clarity of a new born! Sounds about right! :-D

Going Grey Update...

Quick hair update video... 6 months on...

Going Grey...

My momentous decision and how I reached it…

On November 21st 2011, at the ripe old age of 43 years and 8 months, I decided to stop dyeing my hair and just let it go grey. This decision coincided with reading books about 'authentic self' and also reading the following links about PPD allergies that someone posted on Facebook that day, Hair dye allergy puts mum in coma and leaves her with brain damage and Bad Hair Dye Reactions …shocking, scary stuff eh!

I found my first grey hair at the age of 16 and began colouring somewhen in my twenties. I never really felt good about colouring my hair. I always found it an expensive, annoying chore and was suspicious of all those stinky chemicals soaking into my scalp every few weeks. I threatened many a time during my thirties to quit the dye, but one of my best friends would convince me I was far too young to just give up and look old and so the dye kept going on.

Approaching my forties was a tumultuous time for me; I’d never really given up hope of having a third baby, but the realisation that there wasn’t going to be a number 3, coinciding with my eldest son finishing primary school, hit me hard, in the form of a great big midlife crisis that lasted about four years; four shitty, wasted years of antidepressants, counselling and confusion. I’d love to have those years back, but at the same time, I think maybe they were necessary… for me to learn, and grow, and accept… accept myself and accept moving on to the next stage of my life.

Over the last two years (my 'mlc' recovery years) I have read, and studied, and learned many things… also, I lost my father suddenly in July 2010, which, whilst being a massive shock, has also been a huge learning experience that has caused me to totally re-evaluate life and what’s important. I realise how blessed I am and always have been, and I have developed an increased awareness, and aversion, to the extensive superficiality and ignorance of our age. I feel I have grown mentally, emotionally and spiritually as a result of my experiences over the last few years, and I recently read that… “A sign of spiritual awakening is that you will desire more and more to break free of restrictive patterns and old habits that do not serve you any more.”
To this I can very much relate!

I’m now in a place where I am able to make the decision to stop dyeing my hair and ‘go grey’ without being influenced by the expectations of others, and believe me, not many people expect a woman of my age to go grey! Most people are polite when I tell them I’m going grey, and more than one has told me I’m brave! To me bravery is running into a burning building to save someone’s life… but oh well. Also, since I made my decision I have see very few ladies, under about 60, with naturally grey hair. (And believe me, I’ve been looking!) But that’s ok, I quite like to be in the minority. I have, however, discovered this brilliant website, Going Gray Looking Great, that is full of beautiful like-minded young ladies to inspire me in my mission.

Here are 10 of my favourite quotes from GGLG that I can identify with or that inspire me…

“She loves the gray and says she'll never go back because it makes her feel free and complete”

“She’s even more amazed that this journey has nothing to do with outward appearances. It has everything to do with an inner transitioning and self-awareness that leads to a confident new self-acceptance”

 “It dawned on her that putting chemicals on her head did not align with who she really was. Always interested in health, she felt it was completely “nuts” to be shopping for organic food while dyeing her hair”

“Freedom from that dye bottle… and then there's the freedom that comes from within”

“She’s so happy to finally feel true to herself again”

“Her transitioning goes deeper than that. She’s working on simplifying her life, keeping it real, and focusing on what is truly important (health and family). She now gets more compliments on her hair than ever before, and has never felt younger or more beautiful!”

 “It reflected light on my skin and, I'm certain, took years off me. It was an extraordinary relief to be embracing my natural self, no longer clinging onto the past.”

“Women shouldn't feel pressured into hiding our silver badge of experience - and certainly not for the sake of clinging to our youth.”

 “I do applaud you for going au naturel...it takes a lot of guts to do in this youth-obsessed society”

“It is sad that they always say it must take courage. I say it is liberating!”

My journey so far…

I took this photo on November 21^st 2011, directly after I made the decision not to rush to Boots for a colour and to henceforth stop dyeing my hair… 

 
I had a good head start... so to speak!

Striking while the iron was hot, the very next day I got a drop in appointment at the hairdressers and had my hair cut shorter and layered, in stage one of 'operation silver fox' :-)

                             22nd November 2011 - Before                                                     22nd November 2011 - After

By the 16th of December I was beginning to look increasingly 'skunk like' with a big, highly contrasting, white stripe down the middle of my head, so after much deliberation I decided to use a product called Colour B4 that claims to remove the colour molecules from your hair to leave your natural colour. I realised this was risky as it specifies on the box that if you're naturally grey the hair cuticle can be stained and you could be left with light orange or pink hair, but I was feeling adventurous and went ahead with it anyway...

                        Feeling scared, before using colour B4                                  Feeling ginger, after using colour B4

Well, there's no denying, as you can see in the pics above, taken directly before and after using Colour B4, it took me a good few shades lighter... and gingerer. I quite liked it as the contrast was lessened... but it was short lived; within days the colour had re-oxidised (it said this could happen on the box) and apart from the horrible chemical stink of Colour B4 (which I have to say is still lingering 2 weeks and 8 washes on!) you can hardly tell I put myself through the agonising ages it took to use this product... I won't bother again.

Which brings me up to today... and a huge grey splash on the top of my head. I've been seriously toying with the idea of having a short layered cut... but I really don't like having short hair, so I'll probably just have a light trim and persevere with the snowy mountain top look for a bit longer. I'm actually enjoying the whiteness coming through and have taken, over the Christmas Holidays, to tying it back so I can see more of it. :-)

To be continued...