Going Grey...

My momentous decision and how I reached it…

On November 21st 2011, at the ripe old age of 43 years and 8 months, I decided to stop dyeing my hair and just let it go grey. This decision coincided with reading books about 'authentic self' and also reading the following links about PPD allergies that someone posted on Facebook that day, Hair dye allergy puts mum in coma and leaves her with brain damage and Bad Hair Dye Reactions …shocking, scary stuff eh!

I found my first grey hair at the age of 16 and began colouring somewhen in my twenties. I never really felt good about colouring my hair. I always found it an expensive, annoying chore and was suspicious of all those stinky chemicals soaking into my scalp every few weeks. I threatened many a time during my thirties to quit the dye, but one of my best friends would convince me I was far too young to just give up and look old and so the dye kept going on.

Approaching my forties was a tumultuous time for me; I’d never really given up hope of having a third baby, but the realisation that there wasn’t going to be a number 3, coinciding with my eldest son finishing primary school, hit me hard, in the form of a great big midlife crisis that lasted about four years; four shitty, wasted years of antidepressants, counselling and confusion. I’d love to have those years back, but at the same time, I think maybe they were necessary… for me to learn, and grow, and accept… accept myself and accept moving on to the next stage of my life.

Over the last two years (my 'mlc' recovery years) I have read, and studied, and learned many things… also, I lost my father suddenly in July 2010, which, whilst being a massive shock, has also been a huge learning experience that has caused me to totally re-evaluate life and what’s important. I realise how blessed I am and always have been, and I have developed an increased awareness, and aversion, to the extensive superficiality and ignorance of our age. I feel I have grown mentally, emotionally and spiritually as a result of my experiences over the last few years, and I recently read that… “A sign of spiritual awakening is that you will desire more and more to break free of restrictive patterns and old habits that do not serve you any more.”
To this I can very much relate!

I’m now in a place where I am able to make the decision to stop dyeing my hair and ‘go grey’ without being influenced by the expectations of others, and believe me, not many people expect a woman of my age to go grey! Most people are polite when I tell them I’m going grey, and more than one has told me I’m brave! To me bravery is running into a burning building to save someone’s life… but oh well. Also, since I made my decision I have see very few ladies, under about 60, with naturally grey hair. (And believe me, I’ve been looking!) But that’s ok, I quite like to be in the minority. I have, however, discovered this brilliant website, Going Gray Looking Great, that is full of beautiful like-minded young ladies to inspire me in my mission.

Here are 10 of my favourite quotes from GGLG that I can identify with or that inspire me…

“She loves the gray and says she'll never go back because it makes her feel free and complete”

“She’s even more amazed that this journey has nothing to do with outward appearances. It has everything to do with an inner transitioning and self-awareness that leads to a confident new self-acceptance”

 “It dawned on her that putting chemicals on her head did not align with who she really was. Always interested in health, she felt it was completely “nuts” to be shopping for organic food while dyeing her hair”

“Freedom from that dye bottle… and then there's the freedom that comes from within”

“She’s so happy to finally feel true to herself again”

“Her transitioning goes deeper than that. She’s working on simplifying her life, keeping it real, and focusing on what is truly important (health and family). She now gets more compliments on her hair than ever before, and has never felt younger or more beautiful!”

 “It reflected light on my skin and, I'm certain, took years off me. It was an extraordinary relief to be embracing my natural self, no longer clinging onto the past.”

“Women shouldn't feel pressured into hiding our silver badge of experience - and certainly not for the sake of clinging to our youth.”

 “I do applaud you for going au naturel...it takes a lot of guts to do in this youth-obsessed society”

“It is sad that they always say it must take courage. I say it is liberating!”

My journey so far…

I took this photo on November 21^st 2011, directly after I made the decision not to rush to Boots for a colour and to henceforth stop dyeing my hair… 

 
I had a good head start... so to speak!

Striking while the iron was hot, the very next day I got a drop in appointment at the hairdressers and had my hair cut shorter and layered, in stage one of 'operation silver fox' :-)

                             22nd November 2011 - Before                                                     22nd November 2011 - After

By the 16th of December I was beginning to look increasingly 'skunk like' with a big, highly contrasting, white stripe down the middle of my head, so after much deliberation I decided to use a product called Colour B4 that claims to remove the colour molecules from your hair to leave your natural colour. I realised this was risky as it specifies on the box that if you're naturally grey the hair cuticle can be stained and you could be left with light orange or pink hair, but I was feeling adventurous and went ahead with it anyway...

                        Feeling scared, before using colour B4                                  Feeling ginger, after using colour B4

Well, there's no denying, as you can see in the pics above, taken directly before and after using Colour B4, it took me a good few shades lighter... and gingerer. I quite liked it as the contrast was lessened... but it was short lived; within days the colour had re-oxidised (it said this could happen on the box) and apart from the horrible chemical stink of Colour B4 (which I have to say is still lingering 2 weeks and 8 washes on!) you can hardly tell I put myself through the agonising ages it took to use this product... I won't bother again.

Which brings me up to today... and a huge grey splash on the top of my head. I've been seriously toying with the idea of having a short layered cut... but I really don't like having short hair, so I'll probably just have a light trim and persevere with the snowy mountain top look for a bit longer. I'm actually enjoying the whiteness coming through and have taken, over the Christmas Holidays, to tying it back so I can see more of it. :-)

To be continued...